Edward believed that the way to rule was to be magnanimous, and it wasn’t until Warwick turned on him that he had a wake-up call regarding the limitations of magnanimity. Similarly, Tytos’ lifetime was dominated by the horrific series of Blackfire rebellions that cost him 3 of his brothers as well as many of his best friends. This seems to have led him to the belief that laughter was preferable to bloodshed, and that his personal pride could be sacrificed for the good of his subjects. Tytos the Laughing Lion really believed that he could forgive loans and forgo repayment because he could afford it. He literally lived on a mountain of gold. When you have that much wealth it is easy to lose sight of its true value. In our world, Tytos would be remembered as a humanitarian and a philanthropist, but in the world of Westeros his kindness was only seen as weakness. Tywin learned an object lesson about how it was safer if he was feared than loved.
Tywin is uncommonly good at making friends and (with the exception of his own family) is an extremely good judge of character. Moreover, he knows the friends he needs to make and the ones he is better off without. No single event underscores this as clearly as the War of the Ninepenny Kings, where Tywin built a network of friendships that would not only benefit him but lead to a peaceful and prosperous realm in the early days of King Aerys rule. The most important friendship was, of course, that with the crown prince. Believe it or not, he was probably on terrific terms with the wardens of every Kingdom.
Tywin viewed lordship not as a right but as a career to pursue, and any career he was going to pursue he intended to do well in. While it is unknown to us if Tywin is as skilled with a sword as his son Jamie, it is apparent that he can hold his own by virtue of his front line service, on the stepstones during the War of the Ninepenny Kings. It is clear that Tywin knows that in learning to lead you must first learn to follow. His actions in personal combat, however limited to his youth, were sufficient to secure his warrior reputation and build camaraderie with the scions of other great houses. However, once he had learned the fundamentals of knighthood he quickly moved up to study maneuver, tactics, strategy, and ultimately lordship.
Here is basically the digest of “How to win friends and influence people.”
- Envision your life the way you want and live this vision.
- Make friends quickly and easily.
- Increase your popularity.
- Win people to your way of thinking.
- Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done.
- Pursue new clients, customers, and opportunities.
- Increase your wealth.
- Take a firm hand in management yet delegate responsibly.
- Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and pleasant.
- Be an effective speaker and an entertaining conversationalist.
Two fundamental alliances that he makes during the War of Five Kings — that with the Boltons and the Freys — would have been impossible if he didn’t live these principles. He turned enemies into friends because he knew what they wanted, was able to convince them his way was the best way to get it, trust them to fulfill their end of the bargain, and keep his word when they did. “A Lannister always pays their debts” may be as much of a threat as a promise, but a reputation for integrity must be earned, not just boasted about. He negotiated with Lord Bolton directly after they had just fought a bloody battle. To Tywin, battle is just one stage of a protracted negotiation.
What all of this shows is that when Tywin uses his power, he always prefers the pen to the sword. Soft power over hard power. The answer to having enemies is to make friends. He also does not shy away from bloodshed but shows a drastic preference for peaceful coexistence.
While Tywin was born to wealth and position he never took either of these things for granted. He viewed Lordship not as a birthright so much as a privilege that he had to cultivate responsibly. To fulfill his responsibilities, he had to apply equal portions of honesty, empathy, subterfuge, and ruthlessness that most human beings are not capable of balancing. It also must be said that in order to accomplish everything that he did he had to sacrifice his own happiness at many different junctures and put the interests of his house above that of the family that actually comprised it. All of this combined to ensure that he was probably the one man most able to rule the unruly collection of Seven Kingdoms with an eye toward peace and prosperity.
Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.
You think that mathematicians and computer engineers or mechanical engineers or doctors are first. They’re very important, but they’re not first. They’re second.
There was a country that had the best mathematicians, the best physicists, the best metallurgists in the world. But that country was very poor. It’s called the Soviet Union.
What comes first is markets. This was the main thing that I tried to bring to the Israeli economy, in my own way.
It all snowballs.
Working out, I found I “ate” with my stomach more than my mouth. I wanted to be fed, rather than the tasty thing.
Then I wanted to cut sugar and soft drinks to make my exercise count more.
Then I want to show my body a bit more than hide it, so I wore better fitting clothing.
Then my hair and beard mattered more. Then I got positive attention, so I was showering and washing more.
Then I felt better about myself and had more guests so I tidied my home.
With a better life, came confidence, I was more willing to go to social engagements, rather than avoid them.
I felt more confident, so I had a higher standard for a partner, which meant having better people in my life.
All this made me realize that the author doesn’t actually know much at all. He knows little bits of information about a lot of things and was able to make a book out of it. And there is a lot of danger in a little bit of knowledge. And then it got me thinking to the earlier chapters that I enjoyed so much; what if I enjoyed them because I actually know little about their history? What if he was also quoting some contested bits of information, or omitting crucial bits of context from some of his other explanations? At least with the chapters on Arabia and flags of fear, I was able to recognize some of the sloppy mistakes because of some background knowledge on them.