Marine leaders are expected to eat last because the true price of leadership is the willingness to place the needs of others above your own. Great leaders truly care about those they are privileged to lead and understand that the true cost of the leadership privilege comes at the expense of self-interest.
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
When leaders inspire those they lead, people dream of a better future, invest time and effort in learning more, do more for their organizations and along the way become leaders themselves.
Stress and anxiety at work have less to do with the work we do and more to do with weak management and leadership. When we know that there are people at work who care about how we feel, our stress levels decrease. But when we feel like someone is looking out for themselves or that the leaders of the company care more about the numbers than they do us, our stress and anxiety go up. This is why we are willing to change jobs in the first place; we feel no loyalty to a company whose leaders offer us no sense of belonging or reason to stay beyond money and benefits.
People who go to work unhappy do things, actively or passively, to make those around them unhappy too and it’s amazing that anyone gets anything done these days.
This is one of the issues with a bad working environment. Like a bad relationship, even if we don’t like it, we don’t leave. Maybe it’s the feeling of “the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t” or maybe it’s something else, but people seem to feel stuck in unhealthy work environments.
Even in our own biology, there exists this seeming conflict of interest. Of the four primary chemical incentives in our bodies, two evolved primarily to help us find food and get things done while the other two are there to help us socialize and cooperate. The first two chemicals, endorphins and dopamine, work to get us where we need to go as individuals - to persevere, find food, build shelters, invent tools, drive forward and get things done. I like to call these the “selfish” chemicals. The other two, serotonin and oxytocin, are there to incentivize us to work together and develop feelings of trust and loyalty. I like to call these the “selfless” chemicals. They work to help strengthen our social bonds so that we are more likely to work together and to cooperate, so that we can ultimately survive and ensure our progeny will live beyond us.
Endorphins serve one purpose: to mask physical pain. Often released in response to stress or fear, they mask physical pain with pleasure. The experience of a “runner’s high,” the feeling of euphoria many athletes experience during or after a hard work. This is one of the reasons runners and other endurance athletes continue to push their bodies harder and harder. It is not simply because they have the discipline to do so; they do it because it actually feels good.
You can’t laugh and be afraid at the same time. Laughing actually releases endorphins.
This is the reason we like to be given a clear goal to achieve to receive a bonus instead of being given some amorphous instruction. It’s not very motivating or helpful to be told that we will receive a performance bonus if we achieve “more.” How much more? Give us something specific to set our sights on, something we can measure our progress toward, and we are more likely to achieve it. This is why people who balance their checkbooks or maintain a budget are more likely to save or not overspend. Saving is not a state of mind; it is a goal to be achieved.
There is no part of the crocodile’s reptilian brain that rewards any cooperative behavior. The animals have no positive feelings when cooperation is offered and thus no incentive to cooperate. They are, by design, cold-hearted loners.
The more we give of ourselves to see others succeed, the greater our value to the group and the more respect they offer us. The more respect and recognition we receive, the higher our status in the group and the more incentive we have to continue to give to the group.
If they are offering an opportunity for lifetime employment for those who want it, then the leaders of the company have to work hard to bring in the right people. Firing is an easy option. Tough love, coaching, even a program to help people find a job somewhere else if they decide our company is not for them are all much more effective, but require much more time and attention from the company.
We like to talk about our accomplishments, hang our diplomas on our walls and put our trophies on a shelf for all to see what we’ve achieved. Our goal is to be seen as smart and strong and worthy of the advantages of an alpha. Worthy of the respect of others. All to raise our status in our community.
This is the whole idea behind status symbols.
The cost of leadership is self-interest.
That’s the reason we give our alphas first choice of mate. If they die early while trying to defend us, we want to make sure all those strong genes stay in our gene pool. The group isn’t stupid. We wouldn’t give them all those perks for nothing. That wouldn’t be fair.
It’s fun to watch the politicians who announce that if elected they will do all these good things because they care about us. And if they lose their election, many go on to do none of those things. The rank of office is not what makes someone a leader. Leadership is the choice to serve others with or without any formal rank.
When we feel the Circle of Safety around us, we offer our blood and sweat and tears and do everything we can to see our leader’s vision come to life.
With national attention, celebrity was no longer a by-product of success, it became a thing to achieve itself. Fame became a new way to achieve alpha status. It was a time of aspiration.
Just as a parent can’t buy the love of their children with gifts, a company can’t buy the loyalty of their employees with salaries and bonuses. What produces loyalty, that irrational willingness to commit to the organization even when offered more money elsewhere, is the feeling that the leaders of the company would be willing, when it matters, to sacrifice their time and energy to help us. We will judge a boss who spends time after hours to help us as more valuable than a boss who simply gives us a bonus when we hit a target.
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
The culture was the secret sauce that made this place great and allowed us to earn our clients’ trust for 143 years. It wasn’t just about making money; this alone will not sustain a firm for so long. It had something to do with pride and belief in the organization. I am sad to say that I look around today and see virtually no trace of the culture that made me love working for this firm for many years. I no longer have the pride, or the belief. Leadership used to be about ideas, setting an example and doing the right thing. Today, if you make enough money for the firm, you will be be promoted into a position of influence. When the history books are written about Goldman Sachs, they may reflect that the current CEO and president lost hold of the firm’s culture on their watch.
80 percent of the debate about a new bill would happen behind closed doors in committee, and 20 percent on the floor for the camera.
It’s not the work we remember with fondness, but the camaraderie, how the group came together to get things done.
In times when resources are scarce and danger is looming, we naturally come together. This is why the four major uniformed services work so well together in a combat situation, but bicker like spoiled children back at the Pentagon.
Leadership is not a license to do less; it is a responsibility to do more. And that’s the trouble. Leadership takes work. It takes time an energy. The effects are not always easily measured and they are not always immediate.