This shows me even more that it’s the moment that makes an experience unique. Being at a place at the beginning or the end of the day, in rain or sunshine, summer or winter, a good or bad mood, influences how you perceive a place or a moment. That is why every trip is different.
I realize how dependent on the connection with home, the Western world, Facebook, social media. I feel stupid to admit it, but I really can’t do without. I’ve never felt so far from home.
The next day I’m in a hotel in Sivas. I watch an episode of Mad Men, which makes me feel better somehow. It brings me back to the times I was working in an office during the day and watched an episode on Netflix while having dinner. A simple, pleasant life with a normal rhythm. It seems a world away. I feel tired and miserable. I miss home; I miss a girl I barely know; I miss steady ground beneath my feet. Excitement and hardship follow each other too fast. I feel like I’m on a roller coaster without brakes.
I sense the joy of these people, but I’m not part of it. I feel isolated and alone. This is a culture far from where I come from. I’m just a passenger, witnessing life lived by others. Tomorrow I’ll be going again. And it’s like that, day in and day out. Am I going too fast? Should I go back? Should I stay longer in one place? These are the questions I’m asking myself all the time. While I’m posting pictures of one adventure, I’m already living the next one. I am having so many great moments on this trip. I have been with such beautiful people. But then they’re gone again and I have to leave it all behind.
It takes getting everything you’ve ever wanted, and then losing it, to know what the true freedom is.
And what about privacy and hospitality? I found that the poorest people seemed to share the most. They invited me to their homes for dinner or offered me a bed, without knowing me at all or expecting something in return.
As a child I learned to watch out for strangers, to distrust people you don’t know, because they might do you harm. It seems that the more “civilized” people are, the more anxious they are towards strangers.
The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.
Bangkok is the hedonistic club of Southeast Asia, providing affordable thrills for the flip-flopped backpacker. It lures you in using all the colors of the universe, ready to fool you. Like the meat on a stick sold on the street markets. Keep your eyes open because the most beautiful woman you’ll meet could just as well be a man.
Sometimes I try to memorize the journey day by day, starting in Amsterdam. For every place I spent the night, I wrote down one or two keywords in my diary to remember the route I cycled. Only the days that I stayed longer at one place are faded. But from every day spent on the bike there is something left in my memory.