Marriage

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.

I call this the ghost father. It’s tricky because the father never beat you or was abusive to you but he was just there, floating around. So you can’t say he’s a bad father, he was just a father. You grow up not knowing why he won’t communicate with you thinking that’s how all fathers act. But then you grow up and once you see you can’t unsee it. There’s an inherent confidence that people with great fathers have, an ability to assert a certain presence of mind and spirit. You can only acknowledge it when you lack it.

“The most common game played between spouses is ‘If It Weren’t For You.’” - In this game, one partner blames the other for their own failures, avoiding personal responsibility while gaining a payoff of self-justification.