Detective enters with huge file folder, plops it on the table, flips through a few pages, looks at you while shaking his head. Boy, are you in trouble this time!
Typically, you’ll be interrupted with something like, “You’ll get a chance to talk later, but right now you need to listen!” The goal here is to keep you from saying the magic “I didn’t do it!” Words, because getting the chance to say it will boost your confidence and make it tougher to seat a confession out of you later.
Objection is very different from a denial. An objection is an appeal to logic. As opposed to a denial, an objection on some basis of logical argument is actually a good sign that you’re guilty as hell and a liar with trousers ablaze.
‘Fobidden fruit’
Planting a potato field and surrounding it with armed guards allegedly to spare the crop solely for the king’s table. The guards were actually instructed to accept all bribes from the peasantry, who sure enough did do everything they could to get to the potatoes.
Teenager marijuana usage dropped since it was decriminalized. It’s not forbidden, so it’s not cool or rebellious anymore.
When collecting funds for his gigantic Ponzi scheme, he would sometimes publicly turn down potential victims even if they begged him to take their money.
The surest way to sell a book is to ban it. This holds true for almost any form of media. Films, video games, books, music albums, and other products sell in far higher number if there’s a controversy about their content.
Anything can be reframed. You can reframe things all day long. Did your target reject your plan? Reframe it as a starting point and offer to negotiate to a compromise. Did they express distaste at your manipulation? Reframe it as their feelings in reaction - never “I’m sorry I said that,” but “I’m sorry you feel that way about what I said.” No matter how they disagree, reframe it as an agreement. Politicians are old hands at this trick.
Anchoring - this is where you stick an idea into another one they already agree with, in our step where we insinuate our own ideas into things they already agree with. You love X, well Y is just like X, so you should love Y too. Advertisers anchor their breakfast cereal into the idea of a loving mom providing a healthy meal to their children, politicians anchor their plans for war in the idea of national defense, and a host of other professional influence workers do this every day.
Charisma:
- Smile
- Don’t take yourself too seriously
- Never criticize others
- Speak glowingly of others
- Give other people your full attention
- Listen twice as much as you speak
Most of the problems humans have are unsolvable, because we will not work together. At least, not without putting our own selfish interests first.
Know when a person is responding as a person, and when it’s the pre-evolved monkey talking. Instinctive, emotional response are primal ones.